Hello world!  This blog is being written to clear my head about things like weight loss, life, and basically a quest to figure things out.  To avoid all the jib-jab that I could include in this first blog entry, I am going to jump right in with reality as it stands right now. 

Actually that is a bit of a lie because I need to start back in March of this year to put things into perspective.  On March 18th, my Pop lost his life due to a blood clot following spine reconstructive surgery.  On March 21st, I was out on a run taking a break from the chaos.  Along that run, I told myself that that day would be the first day of the rest of my life.  I was more than cloudy with the crap going on in my head, and the following day would be the memorial service for my dad.  Beyond ridic how crazy that still sounds to me even in this moment.  I was mad, heartbroken, and confused, but somewhere in the craziness of that week I was able to find the clarity to realize that as cliché as it sounds I was going to change my life forever.

My biggest demon without a doubt is my lack of ability to commit to losing the weight that I have so carefully taken the last let's say 15 years of life to put on.  As of today, I have had the pleasure of working with a personal trainer twice a week for about 18 months.  During that time, I have had some success in moving from my highest weight of 240 lbs down to about 202 lbs. 

However, during that time I have gone back and forth between these weights, and never been able to break into the under 200 lb club.  Jaclyn and I watch Biggest Loser for inspiration, and see how the contestants come to the ranch with their "life baggage."  Along their journey, most of them have their "Biggest Loser" moment.  I truly don't think that I need this to happen in order for me to have that breakthrough moment of clarity.  I just need to commit!  I need to commit not only to the process, but also to myself.  I can be the guy who tries to find the person or thing that must be responsible, but the reality is that it is none of that.  It is me! 

The death of my dad has shaken me to the core, and brought death right to my doorstep.  I received that call from my brother that nobody wants, and that everyone dreads.  This is enough to make you change, but you have to be willing to commit.  I have talked to my dads spirit about this since that day in March, and I even committed then to doing this for him, but ultimately I have failed that commitment as of this day.  Enough is enough...

So blogger world, this is it.   Through this public outpouring, I shall commit to both myself and to the world that I shall not turn back until I reach my weight loss goal, which right now stands at 180 lbs.  My current weight is 205 lbs.  I will return soon with my next entry.  It may not be about weight loss, but we shall see where this takes me. 

And btw...please feel free to call me out if at anytime you see that I am breaking this code of mine, minus a beer or two each week.  I want to lose weight, but I am not cra cra!  :-)